Priscilla's Corner: Must Love Cats Episode 1 Recap

After all the brouhaha I made about the Must Love Cats premiere on Saturday night, I'm ashamed to admit that I wasn't even home to watch it! However, I do have a valid, cat lady approved excuse: I was out hobnobbing with Matilda, the Algonquin Hotel cat in New York City!

Fortunately, my cat Priscilla, the original pop culture pussycat, was at home tuning in and she's more than happy to share her thoughts. She agreed to type up a recap, in a new feature I'd like to call "Priscilla's Corner." Take it away, Prissy!

Listen, I'm going to put it right out there and say I don't like cats very much. In fact, I hate them. A few years ago they brought in a cat from the STREET to live here. Literally, he was living in the sewer and they brought him in, and now I have to live with him. His name is Charlie, but I mean, who is this guy? He's been here almost six years now, and every time I see him around the house, I still act like I've never seen him before in my life.

So anyway, it's Saturday night and Charlie and me are sitting around looking at the wall as usual, when Mom texts and tells us to put on Must Love Cats. And I figure, heck, why not? It's not like I have anything else better to do.

CATNIP FARM

The first episode of the show is about West Coast cats. I'm an East Coast cat, so already I'm...wait, did he just say CATNIP FARM? Yes, we're taking a "trip" to learn about the "crazy, mysterious world of catnip."

John showed us around a store called Bark, which has a huge selection of catnip - From sushi catnip, to eggs and bacon catnip - You want it fresh? Dried? In a spray? A toy? They have nip in every form you could possibly imagine. John even brought a cat with him to test it out. (How can I get in on that gig?)

What exactly is catnip, and where does it come from? Our next stop on the Tour de Cats is the Trout Lake Organic Catnip Farm, in Washington State. A V-E-T is discussing some "nepetalactone" mumbo jumbo, and John is nibbling on some fresh catnip, saying is tastes "dirty" and "minty."

Outrage! Would he say that the finest caviar, filet mignon, champagne.. tasted dirty? As a catnip connoisseur, I demand a retraction from Animal Planet on behalf of all my kitty brethren.

In other news, did you know catnip tea makes a safe, edible treat for humans? No? Good! More catnip for people, means less catnip for us cats!

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Ok, now we're on to Washington State University, talking to another v-e-t about why catnip drives kitties crazy. While not a highly researched area, the official guess is that "volatile oils stimulate certain receptors in the nasal cavity." Zzzzz. My response is that it's like laying on twenty soft laps, getting your chin scritched, while eating tuna fish, and sitting in a box, surrounded by hundreds of furry mice, milk rings, and balls of string.

After giving John some more catnip (waste!), the v-e-t asks him if he feels more playful. "I do," he replies. Ok, I'm starting to see why some people find this guy so charming.

He ends the segment with this pearl of wisdom: "Give your best bud as much catnip as SHE wants."

Oh yes, I'm really starting to love this guy!

Commercial break! Like what you've seen so far? The eggs and bacon catnip, and the kitty shirt John is wearing during the Catnip segment are both available on Etsy!

THE CAT-TOGRAPHER

And we're back, getting to know about a very handsome orange kitty known as Cooper the Photographer cat. He's lives in Seattle, and is only five years old. I'm almost 10, so does that make me a cougar?

This creamsicle colored cutie was adopted as a stray, and his owners decided to put a camera on him to see what he was up to while they were at work. Impressed by what he came back with, they posted the results online for friends and family, which quickly spread on Facebook and YouTube, giving him thousands of adoring fans worldwide. His work even sells in fine art galleries for $265 a piece!

Recently, Cooper moved up from still photography to feature filmmaking. What a talent! His movies remind me a lot of The Blair Witch Project. It's too bad he has to share the spotlight with some weird, hairless kitten they keep referring to as his "baby brother." I've never seen anything like THAT before in my life!

John followed Cooper on a prowl around the neighborhood, and it's actually pretty amusing because Coop clearly hates him, running away and backing up every time he gets close.

"Sir, I do believe you need to back up!"

Cooper, if you're looking for a mature lady to spend your nights with, I would be happy to pack up and move to the West Coast to be your blushing black & white bride!

DAN THE TREE CLIMBER

Next stop, Seattle to find out what happens when cats get stuck in trees. Dan Kraus is a tree specialist who rescues felines in distress in his spare time. Cute boy with cat alert! Not only does he help cats, he also makes time to hang out with his Mom's beloved cat, Sweetie.

"What goes up, doesn't always come down," and for the reasonable price of $75, Dan will climb any tree and bring your cat down to safety. The tallest tree he's ever scaled was over 100 feet tall, and to date, he's rescued over 700 trapped felines!

John tries some tree climbing of his own, and jokes, "These pants cost $3,000. I really don't want to wreck these!" Look at this guy, a comedian!

In a dramatic turn of events, a call comes in while they're shooting the show, for a 6-month-old cat named Jack who is stuck in a tree. Between the distressed young owner and something called a "cat sack," I couldn't really take all the excitement, and put my paws over my eyes. OMG, he made it! Jack is saved! Oh boy, I'm not crying. There's just some catnip in my eye.

CAT POO COFFEE

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Cat poo coffee!? How uncivilized! According to John, Kopi Luwak is the "rarest, most expensive coffee on the planet." The long and short of it is that the civet cats eat the coffee berries and poop them out, resulting in the lovely picture you see above. These aren't really kitties! They look more like raccoons, if you ask me.

John asks who would have thought that cats could create such a great tasting beverage. Well it doesn't take a cat PhD to know that "a cat could poop out something that tastes the best." Fulton finally gets a sample, and proclaims the bizarre concoction to be, "light, but bold!"

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**LITTER BOX BREAK**

CAT HOUSE ON THE KINGS

Lynea Lattanzio founded The Cat House on the Kings over eighteen years ago, and it has become California's largest no-cage, no-kill, lifetime cat sanctuary and adoption center.

Lattanzio funded and built the center herself, and the sanctuary is home to 800 cats and kittens. One of the most amazing things about the land is that Lynea has literally turned every inch into space for the cats. Even a house on the property she once resided in has been turned into an exclusive kitty den! That's the way it should be, if you ask me!

The only part of this segment I didn't enjoy was the talk about "senior" cats. Apparently, we are considered old folks at the age of 7 or 8??? And GERIATRIC at 10 or 12?? Why, I never!

Although Cat House on the Kings adopts out nearly 500 cats a year into forever homes, some remain at the sanctuary to live out the rest of their lives in comfort and peace. Lynea tells John, "If they don't have a home, they still have a life. A good life." *sniffle*

It takes $48,000 a month to keep the sanctuary running, and they rely entirely on Lynea's own savings and public donations. In fact, during the segment, a "cat lover" stops by to drop off a check for $25,000 to help build a new kitty ICU.

OH, THERE'S THAT CATNIP IN MY EYE AGAIN. Damn it.

KLEPTO-KITTY

The final story of the night is a real show-stopper that's currently going viral on the web. It's about a gorgeous pussycat named Dusty, who has a nasty habit of stealing anything he can get his little paws on!

The 4-year-old "criminal mastermind" from San Mateo, California has stolen over 500 items in just a few short years. His owner, Jean Chu, thinks it's just his way of showing love, but feline experts believe it just might be a case of kitty OCD.

The thing I'm most baffled by is that his owner has a labeled collection in her office of EVERY ITEM Dusty has ever stolen! Would you proudly display your neighbor's bra on your wall (no judgements here, but if the answer is yes, please keep it to yourself). Chu claims that no one ever comes to claim their missing items, even though they know Dusty is the culprit.

REALLY? I find this part a bit suspicious. I mean if he stole my Hello Kitty undies, I might call it a day, but if he took one of my little cat shoes or swimming goggles, I would march my butt right over to that house and ask for it back!

John dressed in all black and a stocking cap to install a kitty spy cam so they can finally catch Dusty in the act. I know I haven't mentioned anything about Fulton's "kitty ditties" yet, but I will say that the klepto-kitty song was my favorite of the episode. And when Jean and John finally sat down to review the surveillance video of Dusty hauling his loot back to the house, it was definitely the biggest laugh of the night.

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Well, that's all I have for now, kitty furriends! Did you your cats watch too? What did they think?

Don't forget to tune into Must Love Cats on Animal Planet, Saturday nights at 8PM E/T to catch all the feline fun!

Up next week: Must Love Cats drinking games? Take a hit of catnip every time John Fulton sings a song or says "kitties!"

ETA: Looking for even more info about the show? Check out the Must Love Cats Episode 1 Resource Guide here!

Priscilla's Corner: Must Love Cats Episode 1 Recap